We have tunnel vision. Tunnel hearing, too. Which actually comes in handy when you’re trying to block out all the background noise while feverishly writing a new column because the one you completed 10 hours earlier is no longer appropriate thanks to the world getting knocked off its axis for the umpteenth time. Not to mention the clock’s second hand is going so fast it’s clearly on steroids, the phone’s ringing off the hook — the guy at Microsoft keeps wanting to fix our computer — and the deadline’s nearing which means any moment now you’ll be inundated with a barrage of Bart Simpson emails that all say the same thing.

Is it done yet? Is it done yet? Is it done yet?

But tunnel vision’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Take this past weekend when we had to pick up a few groceries. So focused were we on our mission we nearly missed seeing the small piece of paper someone had hastily taped to the entrance and which fluttered in the breeze each time the door opened. Seems something had gone kaplooey at the checkout. Cash and checks were welcome.

But if all you had was plastic, you’d go hungry.

Storms, it turned out, had fried some of the data system’s circuitry. And not just at that store but chainwide, leaving most credit and debit card users and those who relied on WIC or electronic benefits payments up the creek. For cash-only dinosaurs like us, it was no big deal. Just business as usual. But for those who long ago had jettisoned their stash of Washingtons and Lincolns, it was a far different matter. With no way to buy the necessities for a decent wish sandwich, they suddenly had to figure out how to make that single drop of sour milk in the fridge and a couple stale crumbs on the floor — 5-second rule says they’re OK — last longer than that solitary bean Mickey, Donald and Goofy sliced up paper-thin in “Mickey and the Beanstalk.” 

Turns out that was the least of their worries.

Some customers who managed to swipe their cards before the stores shut things down while repairs were made were in for the ultimate sticker shock. Think 8.5% inflation’s bad? Imagine how Taylor Graham felt after putting $139 worth of groceries on her card in Miami Township, Ohio. Only to discover a short time later her card was being charged again, and again, and again — every five minutes — and running up a tab faster than Homer Price’s doughnut-making machine until topping out at an eye-popping $2,800.

It wasn’t much better in Lapeer County, where Kaila Gormley’s $119 curbside pickup order was tallied 18 times, setting her back a cool two grand before triggering email notices that her card was maxed out. And it wasn’t just happening at the grocery store. Hardware places were just as bad. One fellow in Big Rapids bought a new $400 vacuum, had his card declined — then later accepted — and promptly was on the hook for twice as much. 

Which then tripled one day later. 

Soothing promises that everything will be fixed five to seven days down the road are nice, but they don’t cut the mustard when the new mother who’s just found the last container of baby formula in the county has no way to pay for it because she’s fresh out of folding money. It’s a sobering reminder that the road to an electronic remittance-only society still contains more potholes than Michigan’s freeway system. And that chips are meant to be eaten.

Talk Back with Doug Spade and Mike Clement is heard every Saturday morning from 9 a.m. to noon Eastern Time on Buzz 102.5 FM and online at www.dougspade.com and www.lenconnect.com.